I really hate splogs & spammers
What’s with all the splogs? So not nice. Same goes for spam comments. Never had this problem at Blogger. I see there’s one foul splog that steals everything with the word ‘health’ in the tag. Time to remove that tag from all my posts. The other one I think scans for the tag ’sex’. I haven’t removed that tag – but then again, I don’t use it a lot … haha.
Oh well.
Sing a Song … I guess I should just click on the video in the post below and forget about it. Altho I do resent sploggers taking my personal journal and posting it on a website to make them money. Crude.
Spam, Splogs & Weird Searches
It’s kinda funny that one of the google searches that brought someone to my blog was “is acting psychotic normal”. lol
Ah well, ya gotta laugh.
I’m surprised at the number of splogs that have ripped off my posts. That’s disturbing. Don’t remember that happening with previous blogs I’ve had. Same with the spam comments.
I guess I find it more offensive with this type of blog. With a fun blog or general family blog it’s one thing – but with this blog being more of a personal journal I guess it just bugs me more.
But that’s the price of putting your personal journal online for the world to access, eh?
Blogs About Depression
I’m just doing a “tag” search here at wordpress and I wish there was some sort of “advanced” search option.
I end up with either a bunch of posts about the American financial situation or a bunch of evangelical blogs telling me how Jesus can save me and cure my depression.
Uh huh.
Oh yes, an “advanced” search option is needed big time.
That Was Weird
Between 12:28 and 12:29 a.m. I had 24 visitors to my previous post. That’s a record number and is kinda odd. Wonder why. Most didn’t stay for any more than a second but still, that’s a lot – 24.
Anyway, I don’t really understand how all this stuff works. Maybe that was when WordPress or one of the RSS feeds downloaded the post – it’s all too complicated for my brain.
I’m still reading blogs at the moment. I find it interesting and helpful to read other blogs, especially ones where the blog owner writes about their life struggles and triumphs. We’re all a lot alike in our own unique ways.
Update: Ah – I figured out why … 22 of the visits came from some weird blog community site that I had not joined. I’ve since removed my blog address from their site. I don’t like when they automatically add blogs that don’t ask to be added.
I’m not here to become popular or have thousands of visits. I’m doing this blog for personal reasons and if others with similar feelings/situations can read it and get something out of it that’s great, well it’s more than great. But that’s the only reason I’m here – not to become a famous blogger or win blog awards, etc. I had one of those blogs years ago – I’ve moved on from that now. It was fun at the time and I don’t see anything wrong with that kind of blogging – I’m just here for a different purpose this time around.
Anyway, mystery solved.
A Year
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I posted. Wow.
Nothing much has happened in a year. I’m still sitting in a mess.
I re-read some of the posts I did here earlier but had to stop, it was too upsetting. In a way it was like reading someone else’s diary – I forgot how honest I was here and how dishonest I am in my real life.
I want to clean up so bad but I’m so paralyzed. Just paralyzed to get started.
Every once in a while I get a burst of energy but it doesn’t last more than a few seconds and then the fear over takes me.
Fear of cleaning up? I dunno. Fear of doing something, anything.
Fear of admitting my failure? As if I still won’t be surrounded by my failure if I don’t start to clean up. It makes no sense I know.
I’m glad I found this site again. I’d forgotten about it. Couldn’t even remember what I called it. But I did some searching – it took me a while but obsessing about finding this blog and remembering my email etc., kept my mind occupied and away from what I should be doing. The cleaning. So maybe it’s not a good thing that I wasted my time finding this blog.
Or maybe it is a good thing. It might motivate me to do something and record it. Although hard, it was good to read a few of the posts – what am I afraid of anyway? Not failing? I’m so used to failing that the idea of success is paralyzing me?
I need to stop ignoring.
I can’t believe it’s been a year since I did anything.
My apartment has been like this since a year ago.
That’s pretty shocking when I think about it. And I rarely think about it.
Good or bad thing finding this blog again … I don’t know. Sitting here ignoring my real feelings … that’s just hurting me.
It’s weird because I tell myself, subconsciously anyway, that if I ignore this stuff I’m actually protecting me. But really-with the realization that I’m exactly where I was a year ago I now have to face the fact that I’m hurting myself.
I really am hurting myself by not doing anything.
Just typing this is raising my anxiety.
But ignoring it isn’t doing me any favours either.
Okay – I’ve decided that I’m glad I found this blog again. Time to DO something.
First Post
So this is my first post. I’m still setting-up the page, and getting to understand how to use WordPress. Not an easy task when I don’t like to read instructions.
This should be interesting for sure.
I’m hoping to use this blog as a way to work through my anxieties, depression … etc. I’ve gotten myself into a rut right now and can’t seem to drag my butt out of it.
I can intellectualize my struggles, but putting all my good thoughts into action is really hard for me. I’m hoping that by journalling here I’ll be able to see things more clearly and actually DO more positive things.
Also, I’m slowly finding a lot of great blogs out there by people in similar situations … and that’s been helpful.
Ah well, it’s a new little adventure in blog world. 
On a side note, does anyone else find it odd that the spell check thing here doesn’t recognize the word, ‘blog’. Now that’s funny.
